Tuesday, June 14, 2011

RESPONSE TO ( My moms blog): What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger!!

Wow, way to make me look like the most terrible person ever. You know I love you and I'm here for you, but you never say you want me there. So what's the point? No one talks to me at home anymore unless I text them first, y'all just make me feel like I'm a piece of crap because I'm trying to get my life together, and actually do something. I'm going to college so I can get a real job so you never have to work again. I want to take care of you because that's what you deserve. And I had to get a job because I need to take care of myself, you can't do it in your condition and shouldn't have to because of how old I am. And if I had to count on Red, I would die because he wouldn't even wash my clothes, much less buy me food and other necessities.

I'm sorry I'm not home, I would be if anyone needed, or WANTED me there. But that just isn't how it is.
I love you, and you know that. I'm sorry I don't show it enough.

I'm the most terrible daughter ever.

So, obviously everyone knows my mom had to have her breast cancer surgery. She made it through fine, though she came out in pain and depressed. I haven't been home practically at all since then. I've gotten a new job, since I have to pretty much take care of myself now, and I started college. I have asked my mom if she needed or wanted me to come home numerous times, and she always says no, that she will be fine. Even though I know she is lying. All I want is for her to know that I love her and that I'm here if she needs me, but she doesn't see it tat way. She never asks to see me, or WANTS me to be there, but I guess it's okay, because none of them do. Everyone acts like Adrianna, my step-sister, is the golden child and is so perfect because she helps out. It's not like she has anything else to do honestly, and she has no where to go. She does nothing but stays up all night and sleeps all day, and I would still be doing that too if I didn't have school and work now. She needs to do something with herself since she dropped out of school. She could get a job, or at least her GED, but she has made no attempt at doing either. But whatever, she's perfect right?

I wish that someone in that house told me they wanted me there, or that they miss me, but guess what? NO ONE EVER DOES. They don't even talk to me unless I text them first, then they have practically nothing to say. I feel like no one in  the family loves me anymore. I don't over there because I don't really have the gas to, and when I come over, everyone just looks at me like I'm  an alien or something. I feel like an outcast in my own family. How would you feel if no one in your family ever wanted to talk to you? It would hurt your feelings use I know it hurts me. I have my feelings hurt everyday. I know that my mom is the one who had surgery and needs to be comforted, but now I get absolutely no love. No one asks me how my day went, or how was school or my new job. They just pretend I'm not there until I text them, and they have to reply. Then I get little short answers that don't even matter. They never tell me what's going on anymore. They went to the movies on Friday (Red, Mama, Adrianna, and Tatiana) and the way I found out was because I ended up going there with a friend and just happened to see them... NO, of course they didn't invite me along, it's because I'm invisible, no longer a part of the family.


I'm done with this blog, what's the point anymore? No one cares about my life. Bye.